There's a story that I was reminded of today, and it goes like this:
One day, a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?" The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up, and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die." "Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!" After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said,"I made a difference for that one."
When Thea came back from school today, she told the story and said that it made her think of me. This has been, by far, the hardest week of institute for me, and I've really been trying to focus on that one starfish that I'm making a difference for right now.
This week, I was given the incredibly unenviable task of teaching my eighth-graders, who struggle with everything from the concept of slope to what -3 + 4 is, about systems of equations.
For those of you who haven't been in touch with algebra in a while, systems of equations look like this:
2x + 3y = 15
3x + 6y = 39
And then ask you to solve for x and y. This is a daunting task for any algebra student to take on. Systems were hard for me to grasp when I was in algebra 1, and as I told my CMA last night, math was my jam in middle school (he thought this was hilarious, put it in giant pink letters on my debrief form, and then proceeded to mock me for being captain of the math team). For my students, this was maybe too big a challenge to take on, especially in only three days. And as such, it was miserable--for me, for them, for my CMA, for my faculty advisor, for everyone.
Monday I taught solving systems by graphing. My FA had told me that my students knew how to graph lines, so this should be easy. My students had never graphed a line in their life--or if they had, they certainly didn't remember anything about how to do it. My lesson quickly veered off-track, behavior was terrible, I got flustered and frustrated, and nobody left the class happy.
I felt totally defeated with the way Monday's lesson had gone, and Monday night was probably the lowest I've been at institute thus far. I felt awful for being unprepared, awful for putting my kids through hell without giving them the background knowledge they needed to succeed at the objective, and entirely lacking confidence in my ability to teach elimination, a much more difficult concept to grasp, on Tuesday. I gchatted my CMA and asked for help. We set up a meeting time for what I'm sure Evan thought was going to be a 20-minute check-in about my key points and a mini-lesson on behavior management (something I had been fine with for the first two weeks). Instead, he got the full Kate breakdown experience, complete with two hours of tears. I thought about throwing in the towel with systems entirely and switching to an easier objective. But after a lot of talking and a LOT of help with my lesson plan, I decided to go through with my elimination lesson. If I'm going to talk the talk of high expectations for my kids, I need to walk the walk: systems are an 8th grade math objective in the state of Georgia, and if my kids are going to go to high school, they're going to need to at least have been exposed to it.
Tuesday was better. Elimination was hard for my kids, but their behavior was much better and they stuck with me for most of the lesson, asking questions even though it was tough. Wednesday, I decided to scrap my plan to do word problems about systems to give them more practice with elimination. Wednesday was another awful day of management, but there were things that were better from Monday--for starters, I gave more consequences. That meant I had to call one of my kids' parents after he racked up five levels of consequences in a period, but so be it. Jon was in my room the entire time, and when I asked him how I could have managed behavior better, he gave a few small suggestions before apologetically shrugging. "I'm sorry," he said, "that was just hard."
At the end of the day, most of my students still have no idea how to solve a system of equations. Their exit ticket scores were the lowest they've been all summer, and most of my students were just frustrated with the objective. But one of my students, Sage, who has been working her butt off all summer, got it. She got the question I gave them as an exit ticket right yesterday, and today at lunch, she asked to go over the systems problem that we gave them in their homework packet for tonight. I handed her the mini-whiteboard I had brought down to the cafeteria and let her go. With nothing but reassurances from me that she was on the right track, she solved the problem--a much harder problem than the one that had been on her exit ticket on Wednesday. "100% right," I told her, and gave her a high five. Her face lit up with a huge smile before she said "OK, now let's work on a word problem."
This week, Sage was my starfish--the one kid I made a real difference for. If she can solve systems, that means she's in good shape for many of the other algebra objectives she'll see on the CRCT on Thursday. I pushed my kids this week, and she responded. I'm proud of myself for persevering through it, but most of all, I'm proud of her. She didn't get frustrated. She did her homework every night even when it was hard. And today, it paid off. My biggest hope is that it pays off for her again next week on the CRCT.
Today was a better day--my lesson went well, my kids understood the concept, and their exit ticket scores are back on an upward trajectory. Am I still worried about if my kids are prepared for the CRCT? Yes. I know for a fact that too many of them are not. Do I think it's fair to my kids that they get me as their teacher during this stressful and critical time? Not every day. Certainly not on Monday. But as my CMA kept reminding me last night in what evolved into a therapy session for my insecurities as a teacher, I am their teacher. I--well, Jon and I--are the only math teachers they get, and I owe it to them to push through when things are hard so that I give them their best possible chance at success. Sometimes it pays off, like it did with Sage this week. Sometimes it doesn't. But in the spirit of looking at the positives, I'll end with another thing I'm very proud of this week--this quote from one of our student surveys this week:
Ms. Leist is one of the best teachers I ever had. Now that she is here and I understand everything better, I truly honestly believe I will achieve my goals, make it to high school, and pass the CRCT.
Am I the teacher I need to be yet? No. Not even close. But at the very least, I've given at least some of my students confidence. And when I leave Atlanta next week, I can hang my hat on that.
One day, a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?" The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up, and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die." "Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!" After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said,"I made a difference for that one."
When Thea came back from school today, she told the story and said that it made her think of me. This has been, by far, the hardest week of institute for me, and I've really been trying to focus on that one starfish that I'm making a difference for right now.
This week, I was given the incredibly unenviable task of teaching my eighth-graders, who struggle with everything from the concept of slope to what -3 + 4 is, about systems of equations.
For those of you who haven't been in touch with algebra in a while, systems of equations look like this:
2x + 3y = 15
3x + 6y = 39
And then ask you to solve for x and y. This is a daunting task for any algebra student to take on. Systems were hard for me to grasp when I was in algebra 1, and as I told my CMA last night, math was my jam in middle school (he thought this was hilarious, put it in giant pink letters on my debrief form, and then proceeded to mock me for being captain of the math team). For my students, this was maybe too big a challenge to take on, especially in only three days. And as such, it was miserable--for me, for them, for my CMA, for my faculty advisor, for everyone.
Monday I taught solving systems by graphing. My FA had told me that my students knew how to graph lines, so this should be easy. My students had never graphed a line in their life--or if they had, they certainly didn't remember anything about how to do it. My lesson quickly veered off-track, behavior was terrible, I got flustered and frustrated, and nobody left the class happy.
I felt totally defeated with the way Monday's lesson had gone, and Monday night was probably the lowest I've been at institute thus far. I felt awful for being unprepared, awful for putting my kids through hell without giving them the background knowledge they needed to succeed at the objective, and entirely lacking confidence in my ability to teach elimination, a much more difficult concept to grasp, on Tuesday. I gchatted my CMA and asked for help. We set up a meeting time for what I'm sure Evan thought was going to be a 20-minute check-in about my key points and a mini-lesson on behavior management (something I had been fine with for the first two weeks). Instead, he got the full Kate breakdown experience, complete with two hours of tears. I thought about throwing in the towel with systems entirely and switching to an easier objective. But after a lot of talking and a LOT of help with my lesson plan, I decided to go through with my elimination lesson. If I'm going to talk the talk of high expectations for my kids, I need to walk the walk: systems are an 8th grade math objective in the state of Georgia, and if my kids are going to go to high school, they're going to need to at least have been exposed to it.
Tuesday was better. Elimination was hard for my kids, but their behavior was much better and they stuck with me for most of the lesson, asking questions even though it was tough. Wednesday, I decided to scrap my plan to do word problems about systems to give them more practice with elimination. Wednesday was another awful day of management, but there were things that were better from Monday--for starters, I gave more consequences. That meant I had to call one of my kids' parents after he racked up five levels of consequences in a period, but so be it. Jon was in my room the entire time, and when I asked him how I could have managed behavior better, he gave a few small suggestions before apologetically shrugging. "I'm sorry," he said, "that was just hard."
At the end of the day, most of my students still have no idea how to solve a system of equations. Their exit ticket scores were the lowest they've been all summer, and most of my students were just frustrated with the objective. But one of my students, Sage, who has been working her butt off all summer, got it. She got the question I gave them as an exit ticket right yesterday, and today at lunch, she asked to go over the systems problem that we gave them in their homework packet for tonight. I handed her the mini-whiteboard I had brought down to the cafeteria and let her go. With nothing but reassurances from me that she was on the right track, she solved the problem--a much harder problem than the one that had been on her exit ticket on Wednesday. "100% right," I told her, and gave her a high five. Her face lit up with a huge smile before she said "OK, now let's work on a word problem."
This week, Sage was my starfish--the one kid I made a real difference for. If she can solve systems, that means she's in good shape for many of the other algebra objectives she'll see on the CRCT on Thursday. I pushed my kids this week, and she responded. I'm proud of myself for persevering through it, but most of all, I'm proud of her. She didn't get frustrated. She did her homework every night even when it was hard. And today, it paid off. My biggest hope is that it pays off for her again next week on the CRCT.
Today was a better day--my lesson went well, my kids understood the concept, and their exit ticket scores are back on an upward trajectory. Am I still worried about if my kids are prepared for the CRCT? Yes. I know for a fact that too many of them are not. Do I think it's fair to my kids that they get me as their teacher during this stressful and critical time? Not every day. Certainly not on Monday. But as my CMA kept reminding me last night in what evolved into a therapy session for my insecurities as a teacher, I am their teacher. I--well, Jon and I--are the only math teachers they get, and I owe it to them to push through when things are hard so that I give them their best possible chance at success. Sometimes it pays off, like it did with Sage this week. Sometimes it doesn't. But in the spirit of looking at the positives, I'll end with another thing I'm very proud of this week--this quote from one of our student surveys this week:
Ms. Leist is one of the best teachers I ever had. Now that she is here and I understand everything better, I truly honestly believe I will achieve my goals, make it to high school, and pass the CRCT.
Am I the teacher I need to be yet? No. Not even close. But at the very least, I've given at least some of my students confidence. And when I leave Atlanta next week, I can hang my hat on that.
Kate, you are really sensitive to the needs of a challenged students who grew up in a disturbed area. it took me years to take the Harvard speak out of me in the classroom. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteKate, Sage persevered, and so did you! You work to find different ways of explaining things, to find what is most meaningful to each individual student. And you really care. You are making a difference! There will be more starfish!
ReplyDelete